Zul Haj 4 1441

As this new month comes upon us, we are blessed to feel the love from above . As Allah calls us to perform rituals and devotion to HIM, let us remember why we are here. Every step on earth is meant to test our resolve to obey and HOPE for His forgiveness one day when we meet Him again . Since age has descended upon me and left me weaker in many ways , I am grateful for the spiritual growth allowing me to ascend the ladder, although in a feebler fashion , I am more humble and know my limitations . I can only count on Him for provisions and will accept that all His judgments will be merciful and just for me . It is with HOPE that I can move forward to join His companions one day . I am unworthy , on my own but pray for His understanding of who I am . COVID 2019 has closed the doors to HAAJ but we can still distract the world by reaching up to HIM in these days of HOPE for 1441 . The Zikr of Allah will open Allah's gates to us , ISA when we prove our commitment and love for our Creator. The duas will cement our connection to HIM. The Qurbani, charity and prayers will console our souls that we serve a greater cause than our selfish desires . Let us be worthy of this month to gain forgivenenss and find a better path forward in TRUTH. Whever may read this , know that I have only leaned on Him thru trials and tribulations and found the handhold that never left me stranded and alone . He does answer duas ..in His own time .

17th Dhul Qadah. July 8 2020

The test of FAITH is a constant JIHAD ... Now the balancing act has started for me between spiritual; emotional, physical and intellectual needs . The Quran will often describe how man must seek balance to all his needs . We can never be a one dimensional believer. With age comes the real challenge and that is the energy and drive to work on all the facets of my needs . Even my energy for prayers has been depleted .. may Allah forgive my weaknesses. It we can pass this test successfully then Allah can reward by raising us up another step towards our final goal in reaching HIM . Let us keep trying with our best efforts . AMIN

Shawwal 26 1441

here we are again as Shawwal soon is ending ... a whole month has passed since Ramadan ended. Where are we now? What have we remembered ? What is my life like now ? Has Ramadan turned my heart and let it become more stable in Deen? My list of changes for daily behaviour has been activated since Shawwal 1. -read more daily Quran with tafsir - standards for Ibadul Rehman... piety, humility , kindness, charity, generosity, patience , gratitude... examine daily in my bahaviour -seek Allah's love by giving love to all who love HIM seek NAFS decline .. by duas for Allah's protection twice a day observe my thinking .. aligned with Allah's wishes??? =duas daily for protection from Iblis. -Oh Allah remove anxiety and grief from me .. in your name of compassion and mercy , there is nor God but He. - Zikr .. done often in meditative way . - repent when wrong often. in state of TAKWA. -open heart to LIGHT and HOPE. -I come from Allah and I will return to HIM ISA> -Heart's faith shield us from all dangers. -I need your strength and help my Rabb , Let me die with Your name on my lips , Oh Lord offering my love and praise to You. -I TRUST YOU for all my needs ... !!!! -Allow me to lead my life with Ihsan and contentment in prayer.

RAMADAN 1441 April 24 ... isolated with ALLAH

Ramadan began a few days back to a quietly beautiful Friday ..making it a JUMA MUBAREDK for sure. As always I have trepidation before every Ramadan ..wondering why Allah would want to be merciful to me .. a singularly penitent lady who needs so much mercy to be forgiven . YET on DAy 7 Allah has shown me just how much HE cares as I have felt my daily duas already answered . This year we can not enter mesjids, or community centers due to COVID 19 virus epidemic , but the community has rallied together online in videos, khutbahs and digital connections . The Quran is especially calling me to see if I can finish reading the 30 JUZ this year. ISA I will try my best to digest the meaning and carry it into my daily life. The facilitators are truly inspiring to listen to tafsir and audio presentations of the arabic .. truly beautiful heart warming sounds of the arabic sounds. Let me continually embed the Quran in my heart . AMIN