Saffar # 11 1441

As we head into 1441 and are now in its second month , where does Allah want us to head ? I find it very hard as a human to know that I am heading down the right way... there are so many challenges in every day. Where do I turn ? The Quran tells me that even when I think I am doing "right" , I may not be . The Devil is so heavy as he sits on us ... he even makes us think he is light ...when he is smothering us . Perhaps the Dajjal has already started his attack on us, humans thru being a false inspiration to us . I truly want to be guided correctly by the RIGHT force. Perhaps it will be only my duas that may save me . ???? I do not know when Allah gives us the answers ...it is up to us to follow HIS lead.

Muharram closing

The 27th of Muharram has come to us and it is also Jumma . As age creeps upon me, I find my physical strength is depleted and I must consciously, mindfully , every minute seek the strength and comfort from my Rabb. I am no longer capable of managing my days in a singular fashion. My duas are more and more significant to help me manage my daily existance . Faith is my conviction and the rope that it provides for me to hold . The refuge in Allah is my total source of power and hope . He is said to be Samad , all-merciful, all-forgiving , all-understanding , all-loving, all-knowing, most pure, all protective, all mighty, remover of difficulties, the most just in punishing, responder to all needs , most kind , bestower of LIGHT , MOST PATIENT . and so many more . Let me always count on ONLY HIM for whatever my wishes may be . As insecurities from this world or in the afterlife arise, please let me hand them over to HIM..knowing HIS provisions will be greater than anything I may imagine .My humble , little insights can never cmprehend what HE has planned for me . TRUST in HIS LOVE and COMPASSION for me in spite of my weaknesses ... I am nothing without HIM !!!! Let Safar come to us providing more time for us to grow in HIS correct guidance. Amin .

Muharram 1441

For all my friends and sincere believers , I wish you an open and supportive journey in the path we are all following ...seeking the TRUTH. I feel an new sense of understanding of how blessed my journey has been this far. Trepidation has appeared for me around every corner but I now realize that the FAITH I HAVE In HIM always saves me every time. With this realization , let me continue to be conscious of this ... so that the rope of FAITH will never let me down. Let this New Year start for each and every one of us in this remarkable understanding . HOLD ON TIGHT as the road will have bumps and crises to face . With HIM we will cope the best way possible . Point to accept is that it is my connection with Allah that gives peace and not the community that we live in . Grow in understanding of HIS atributes and align yourself to these qualities the best that I can. Bless our paths in 1441 ! AMEN>

Rajab 20 1440

Assalam Alaikum again. Now spring has come to the outer environment and the cold , bitter winds are dying down . As we hear the chirping birds, the small flowers appearing on the branches , we can truly appreciate nature's obedience to the Creator. The discipline NAture exhibits humbles me as I continue to only try to be diligently obedient . We are so frail and weak , we humans that all we can hope is for our MAker to forgive us as we daily repent for mistakes done . The melting ice enables us move about more freely in the outer environment . I am so truly grateful for the respite Allah has provided me over the long , harsh days of winter. His refuge is truly a significant blessing . I have seen the visible signs of my anxious duas ..begging for an inner peace . To believe in HIM is not simply a word stated but must be followed thru with actions proving the belief . Often this requires a creative design to ponder , reflect , and choose the best path to please our RAbb with our actions . The giving and receiving from my duas to HIS responses is truly a remarkable connection . I feel so honoured to be a part of this link. Gratitude is simply all that I can show to HIM as I move on from these fulfilling experiences in hope and awe for HIS love for me . I am truly a weak human being who tries and fails, repents, and then tries again only to often fail again . However HE never fails and always accepts my frail excuses because HE knows how much I count on HIM ..despite my mistakes . The road back to meet HIM is fraught with trials and I can simply pray and hope that the end will be good for me . Now my senior years are upon me and I wish for forgiveness and I shall continue to try to perfect my actions ..knowing that only HE is perfect. Thus I can simply try to emulate HIS attributes as I become aware of how to do that. Perhaps it will be this desire to do that which will please HIM and help me to be saved from some dire punishment . MY RAbb I humbly seek forgiveness from YOU for all my mistakes . Continue to help me see my errors before I do them and allow my own thinking to not interfere with your guidance . You prove to me daily that your guidance is forever when I seek the TRUTH . PLease allow me to treasure TRUTH above falsehood ..wherever it is visible .

21 Jumada II 1440

My Dear RAbb As read over my posting from Jumada ! , I can truly view my state of anguish over many issues . I had directed myself to make more duas in order to receive comfort . The coldness in the outer world has frozen my limbs and mind in so many ways . YET I have sought a warm heart and HIS LIGHT to emanate from within me . I had made decisions to protect my daily life , yet I was questionning my withdrawing from the " dunya". In my search I began to see that this aging process does create an isolation of the body from exterior difficult challenges . So I chose to replace my outer work in order to do inner work in preparation for purifying the SELF for HIM. For it is only when we take time ponder and truly contemplate , do we see our errors . For it with this vision , we may be able to correct ourselves . For it is with this cleansing , then we will be ready to meet our Creator for the final Hereafter. I can easily examine that this hibernation time will clearly benefit me in future . THe trick will be to remember the lessons and make changes in tune with what we have learned. Now my duas will continue to seek change for my benefit . This internal JIHAD comes to all of us, believers on the path back to HIM.