8th Dhul Hijjah 1431

As I sit today , in humility and awe in all that HE has given me ...on this earth ..how can I be truly thankful ? My tears would flow for days , in gratitude and/or sadness for what I have not done . I can only remember that I am an imperfect human ... needing to be forgiven for my transgressions . My soul longs for peace and mercy for my husband, family and myself . What can I do more..except praise YOU , MY RABB and believe in your promises ...you will LOVE us, protect us and care for us thru everything you give us . Let us believe in YOUR plan ...as it is better than anything my human brain may envisage . FAITH WILL TAKE US THRU ...not around or over the trials . Please be merciful to all those I have loved for you . YOU have deemed me worthy of knowing this LOVE and now I turn back to YOU...seeking only YOU . My heart is breaking for so many reasons ..that I can not comprehend or record them all here. Please forgive us and continue to watch over our path ..as we move forward in HOPE and FEAR !!!! YES I do fear YOU but my LOVE is greater than that ... please let me always hold tight to the rope of FAITH and LOVE ..above all else that I should conquer and walk thru the valley of Death with an OPEN , fearless step ..knowing that YOU will be there to meet me at the last .

6 days to purify for HAAJ

My LIFE is just one small candle's flickering in the wind ..ready to be extinguished at any time ... remember how minute we each are on the grand scale . Thus whatever comes today , we will manage and it can never be more significant than we MAKE IT!
Today all I can try is to serve where I am placed and be kind ... the gentle smile , the charitable touch , the encouraging word ...this will please HIM .
If I truly wish to come before my Maker one day in all humility , then I must keep this foremost on my radar screen ..now and every day . It is so humbling to know that we are following in HIS footsteps , our Prophet (PBUH) ..I can only ask that I continue to want to be as He was... not that I can ever attain this feat . It will be in the pursuit that perhaps I may find mercy and forgiveness . Visiting Mecca and performing the HAAJ would be a yearned for dream ... so once a year as we prepare for these days , let us all try our best to HOLD TIGHT onto the FAITH and seek HIS direction . AMIN sub Amin ...as we pass this torch on to our next generations , please let it shine in their hearts and souls and bring them closer , even than I am , to YOU!!!!